Contemplating

I'm in the library. Rare, I know.

I've been sitting here trying to accomplish some homework but instead all I can do is contemplate and dwell on this mushy, wet, and cruddy day. It's so hard to sit here next to the window and look out at the oblivious people walking around campus. What am I dwelling about you might ask? Well thats simple:

1. What am I going to do with my life. I mean really I am an English major, and I don't want to change that fact however, I don't know what specific job I want at the end of my college career. I have played around with the thought of minoring in music, but the only job that comes to mind is a singer/songwriter. Don't get me wrong, thats probably the best job I could ever imagine, but think about it, realistically, it would never work out but it would be so much fun, and something I love.

2. Penfield Library is my home. This is just pathetic on so many levels. However, I don't have money nor the motivation to go out to parties to meet new people. My point? I'm lonely. Lonely in the sense that I miss my friends, but I can't go see them for lack of money, and I avoid talking to them because it only makes me depressed. All we have to say is how much we miss each other, there's not to many conversations that don't end with a frowny face. I also miss the cheesy mushy feeling of having a crush, and being crushed on. As pathetic as it sounds.

3. I need a job. I don't even think that I am gaurenteed a place at Price Chopper anymore. I might not even get any hours when I go back for fall break. This scares me because as of now... I have $40 to my name. I am freaking out.

4. Its not a nice day out.